An interesting start to Geneva

I've done two very uncharacteristic things since I arrived in Geneva (to the tune of Geneva leaves and Alpine snow, since that's primarily what I've taken pictures of so far).

1. I blew a fuse.

I arrived in Geneva on Sunday afternoon and met the two kids.  By all appearances, they were sweet and well-behaved, always on top of the time (a Swiss thing, apparently).  They did their homework when they were supposed to, ate everything, and went to bed on time without being asked.

My original intent with being an au pair was to save money.  The mom said I'd get my own studio downstairs from their apartment, I'd get a good amount of money for 3 months' work, and my tasks would only involve speaking in English, light housework, and helping with homework.

But things changed when I got there.  As she originally expected me longer, the studio "wasn't available", so I had to set up my room in the office, which the mom still used for work and the kids used for playing video games.  The money?  Oh, I'd get that at the end (conveniently in Swiss francs, of course).  The light housework?  Making their beds, setting out their clothes for the next day, setting up their meals just so, cooking, etc.

And the kids... that's another story.  I should've known better, showing up in an apartment clad in Prada and Gucci, that I'd be dealing with the nouveau riche.  Apparently, Dior makes teddy bears and kids' jackets, Hotel de Vendôme makes ashtrays, and  Roberto Cavalli makes kids' jeans.  And, honestly, what 10- or 11-year-old boy wears cologne?  And Guerlain, Hermès, and Chanel, for that matter?

As the days went by, the kids let their wonderful personalities shine through.  While setting up breakfast: "You put too much milk in my glass, it could spill."  While helping the older one with his English homework: "We need to work faster, I have to go to bed soon."  While speaking to him in English: "We don't have the time for that."  And they used to their advantage, time and again, the fact that, if they mumbled and talked quickly enough in French, I wouldn't understand.

It doesn't help when the mother, aptly named Madame Ho (or the mère d'enfer, I coined her), refused to address me as the informal French "tu" (you), but the more professional, removed "vous".  Most au pair ads advertize being a "sister" for the kids, but calling me "vous" places me among the cleaning staff, i.e. someone paid for a service and told what to do, as it seems to be here.  And when she tells everyone I meet that I speak English and "un peu de francais", I know where things stand.

But it got to a point I couldn't handle anymore.  Last Wednesday, the mom suggested I go to the park with the boys.  After stripping them away from their video games and letting them get away with not bringing the dogs, I headed out the door with Jeremy; Andrea didn't follow.  "Where's your brother?"  "Oh, he didn't want to come."

I was livid.  I went back into the apartment and found him, unphased.

"Why aren't you coming?"

"I don't want to."

"But your mom said that you need to get outside for a bit - you need to listen to her."

"Fine, if you want to go outside, go."

"Andrea, you are being juvenile."

"No, you are."

Needless to say, my French has improved because of the kids.  I slammed the door, rushed out of the apartment, and went downstairs with Jeremy.  We passed by the mom, who asked what was going on.  I muttered, "He won't come", which is all I could get out because I was shaking and crying so hard.

In my experience, if a kid is disrespectful, the parent usually comes back with the kid and has him/her to apologize.  Not so.  After a 20-minute walk, she eventually called me and I joined her and the kids for the walk we were supposed to have.  In her usual long-winded way, she said, essentially, that she can't excuse what he's done, but I need to be able to keep my cool and I shouldn't leave them alone.  She told Andrea that he needs to listen to me, but she never got the point across, since he kept fighting back.  No apology.

Point taken.  These kids will always have the upper hand if the mom continues to defend them, if I can't scold them, and if everyone in their life concedes to their every whim.

2. I quit something.

I always follow through with things.  I learned from an early age that if you agree to something - babysitting, parties, dance, soccer - you do it, even if something better comes up or you lose interest.  I remember my last year of soccer (which I was terrible at), driving to the coach's house with the registration forms in hand.  My mom asked, "Are you sure you want to do another year?"  I said yes, thinking of the trophy I'd get at the end, despite not liking the sport.



This morning, I packed my bags and left.

Of course, it didn't go quite as planned.  I got up at 5 am so I could leave long before everyone got up and Maria (the cleaning lady) came.  I got ready, packed my bags, got my backpack on, and was good to go.  Except the door was locked...  I was locked in.


Maria had the spare keys because we had headed out for the weekend and I had no way out.  Great.  But, randomly, she came in and must have gone to the bathroom or something, because I never saw her.  I grabbed my stuff and ran.



I get that this isn't mature or rational - an eye for an eye leaves the world blind; Madame Ho had even sent me a text message saying that this was scandalous and dishonest.  I can't imagine what it would be like to wake up and not have the au pair you once had.  But I had tried time and again to talk to her about the expectations of my staying there - the studio, money, etc. - and she would always pass it off, saying "don't worry about it".

I decided that this is my year, not the kids'.  I have enough to sort through myself without making their manners my personal project.  And, in the end, this was a good experience, making me realize that sometimes you just have to leave a bad situation.

For now, I'm staying at a hostel, where I'll be until Thursday.  I'm checking out a room in an apartment close to where I'll be volunteering and I have several other offers to crash at peoples' places.  And now I'm heading to the Geneva Environment Network, an organization within the UN Environment Program, where I'll help out with projects and events.  I'm super excited to get started!

This next week (and the next blog entry) will be much better, I just know it.  I have lots of great pictures I need to get up (including from my trip to the Alps with the family this last weekend).  I miss you all!